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Get with the program - 11/3/2008 4:38:20 PM
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Johnny_
Posts: 395
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: California
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Ladies,
I went out with a friend last Friday. I took her to a nice restaurant because I was trying to impress her. I think it is so disrespectful when your date is constantly checking her cell phone for text messages and even has the audacity to answer her phone when we are in the middle of a romantic dinner. This is absolutely unacceptable in my opinion. I wanted to just walk out of the restaurant right there on the spot and make her pay for the entire meal. Ladies, I think you need to educate yourself and be more respectful. I am not going to ask her out on a second date regardless of how beautiful she is. I have decided to move on because I can do better. Thanks for listening.
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RE: Get with the program - 11/3/2008 4:42:44 PM
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karlie
Posts: 16425
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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quote:
Ladies, I think you need to educate yourself and be more respectful.
Hmmm...it sounds like you're implying most of us are uneducated and don't know how proper dining etiquette .  Just because one rude dinner date was clueless doesn't mean the majority of women are. I personally never answer my cell phone in the middle of a meal, no matter who I'm having dinner or lunch with. Most women I know are the same.
_____________________________
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf~
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RE: Get with the program - 11/3/2008 6:08:29 PM
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karlie
Posts: 16425
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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quote:
Your telling me that most women out there are not as inconsiderate as her.
No woman I am closely associated with would be that inconsiderate of a date, be it just a friend or a romantic interest. So yes, I am saying most women aren't rude and considerate of thier dinner or lunch companions. Are there rude and inconsiderate women?? Of course! Just as there are rude and inconsiderate men. But generalizing is unfair to those who aren't, not to mention inaccurate.
quote:
Well, I'm not buying it!!!!!!
That's completely your prerogative. 
_____________________________
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf~
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RE: Get with the program - 11/3/2008 6:17:48 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
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Do you have a question? Because I agree that it sounds as if you're saying all women are like this, and that reeks of bitterness. I know a lot of people who turn their phones off when going on a date; it's just courteous.
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<-- When did Hollywood go from classy to 'cheap & easy'?
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RE: Get with the program - 11/3/2008 8:29:13 PM
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twinkly
Posts: 407
Joined: 6/21/2008
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I agree that it is rude and annoying and uncalled for. My exbf used to do it all the time... he would take calls in the middle of movies, just get right up and leave the movie to take the call. Used to drive me nuts. I hate cell phones quite honestly.
BUT, not all women or men are like that. I personally shut my phone off or put it on vibrate during movies or dinners, etc. I may look at it only to see if it was one of my kids (because they are young and if they are calling me it might be an emergency). Other than that, no way is my phone on or answered if I am with friends, a date, at work, etc. It's just being mature and responsible in my opinion.
_____________________________
Our bodies are the temple of the Lord, let us starting treating them as such!
Come and join the 2009 BODY REVIVAL thread!
http://forums.crosswalk.com/fb.aspx?m=4073599
The Body Revival recipe thread is in the "Home and Garden" forum
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RE: Get with the program - 11/4/2008 3:09:10 AM
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Johnny_
Posts: 395
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
Do you have a question?
I think Karlie answered my question. I am confident that all the women on Crosswalk are very courteous.
She sent me a text message right after I dropped her off at her house. She said in the text "Thanks for the dinner, I had a great time." Ummmmm, sorry Jessica, but I had a lousy time.
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RE: Get with the program - 11/4/2008 2:16:17 PM
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saraimay75
Posts: 8113
Joined: 5/11/2005
From: Wherever God plants me.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Johnny_
Ladies,
I went out with a friend last Friday. I took her to a nice restaurant because I was trying to impress her. I think it is so disrespectful when your date is constantly checking her cell phone for text messages and even has the audacity to answer her phone when we are in the middle of a romantic dinner. This is absolutely unacceptable in my opinion. I wanted to just walk out of the restaurant right there on the spot and make her pay for the entire meal. Ladies, I think you need to educate yourself and be more respectful. I am not going to ask her out on a second date regardless of how beautiful she is. I have decided to move on because I can do better. Thanks for listening.
1) Don't generalize when I am out on a date I would turn my phone OFF.
2) Maybe she had a reason: close family member or friend was ill and she wanted to have her phone on to know what was happening.
3)All I hear about is her beauty...Beauty helps but it should not be the only thing.
_____________________________
God love admiration . . . I think it annoys God if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.
~Alice Walker~
http://360.yahoo.com/saraimay75
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RE: Get with the program - 11/4/2008 10:31:29 PM
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karlie
Posts: 16425
Joined: 4/10/2005
From: Central California
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quote:
She sent me a text message right after I dropped her off at her house. She said in the text "Thanks for the dinner, I had a great time." Ummmmm, sorry Jessica, but I had a lousy time.
I'm wondering if you liked her other than the phone issue? Would it be worth explaining to her how it affected you and giving it another try? She may seriously not be aware of how offended you were. With the way people use their cells these days, It's possible she may not have thought she was doing anything rude. It's true that most people would know better, but some people have to be taught these things, and maybe no one has taken the time. If you think she's worth another try, you can always be honest and tell her you felt disrespected and treated rudely when she kept answering her phone, and that it made you feel like she was uninterested in being there with you. Her reaction could tell you a lot. She may be genuinely sorry and be much more considerate in the future.
Of course if there were other things you didn't like about her, then it's probably not worth the effort!
_____________________________
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf~
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RE: Get with the program - 11/4/2008 11:58:01 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 6006
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She thanked you for the dinner via text after you dropped her off? That's unbelievable. I agree that she is lacking in courtesy and not worthy of another date.
I also agree with the other ladies who have responded that most of us are not like that ... I personally would only leave my cell phone on if I was expecting a call from my son, and would definitely have made mention ahead of time.
_____________________________
Instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend. That would be giving as the angels give.
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RE: Get with the program - 11/6/2008 6:38:22 PM
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Johnny_
Posts: 395
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: California
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Dear women of Crosswalk,
I got the point. Comments such as "Don't generalize you moron!" is no longer necessary. I will not generalize anymore.
Anyways, changing the subject. Do you think it is possible for a guy and a girl to be just friends? My answer is no. I think sooner or later, one of you will develope feelings for another.
< Message edited by Johnny_ -- 11/8/2008 4:00:01 PM >
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RE: Get with the program - 11/7/2008 7:58:00 AM
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Focusing
Posts: 6006
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Men and women can indeed be just friends ... I have many guy friends. Always have. And I don't have any romantic feelings towards them whatsoever. I truly believe we have the choice to decide how we choose to see a person of the opposite gender. Not everyone is looking for a mate, and not everyone views others as potential romantic interests. If that's a problem, it's a heart issue that needs to be addressed.
_____________________________
Instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend. That would be giving as the angels give.
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RE: Get with the program - 11/7/2008 11:03:23 AM
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Auben
Posts: 1606
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From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
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Yes, I think they can.
I think it's harder when you're still looking for a mate, but it's still possible before and after you're married.
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Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Get with the program - 11/7/2008 5:49:37 PM
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RamiRedeemed
Posts: 2628
Joined: 10/13/2008
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I know, I know, you're not generalizing... But let me just say that I personally do NOT answer my phone or even have it turned on if someone is treating me to dinner. I agree, it's rude.
My question to you though is this: Since you were so upset by her behavior did you voice that to her during the dinner? She might have had a reason why she was checking her phone but you wouldn't have known that unless you asked. She very well could have been rude for doing that but I'd venture to say that you're just as rude for not making it clear to her, in a nice manner, that you didn't approve of her cell phone use.
People don't know what upsets you unless you tell them. Shoot, how old is she? If she's a bit younger she might not view her behavior as rude. I see people texting in church all the time on a sunday morning, they havn't figured out yet that theres a time and a place...
_____________________________
Some people talk because they have something to say.
Others talk because they have to say something.
-------------------------------
ramireconciled.blogspot.com
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RE: Get with the program - 11/7/2008 11:56:32 PM
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Anamchara
Posts: 110
Joined: 9/16/2005
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funny, I went on a date one time when the guy answered his phone and started talking about how the date was going with whoever was on the other end of the phone! I was setting right there in teh truck. That was only one of the minor things that happened on the date though, I never met him again!
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RE: Get with the program - 11/10/2008 3:35:08 PM
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miasma
Posts: 4112
Joined: 4/12/2005
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The majority of my friends, since childhood, have always been men.
My closest, bestest friends, are men. Going on ten years with both of them, now. Never had any feelings for them, and vice versa.
Men and women aren't automatically interested/attracted to each other simply because they have compatible body parts. Reducing us to, well, base/instinctual animals tends to be where a lot of Christians go wrong, in opposite gender relationships (of all sorts).
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RE: Get with the program - 11/10/2008 10:38:07 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 23500
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here . . . but subject to change; stay tuned
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Johnny_
Dear women of Crosswalk,
I got the point. Comments such as "Don't generalize you moron!" is no longer necessary. I will not generalize anymore. Uhm . . . Noone in this thread called you a moron. In addition to not generalizing, it's also a good idea to not add words (especially inflammatory language) to people's posts when you're quoting them. It doesn't help the conversation at all.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Johnny_
So let me get this straight. Your saying that I asked the wrong girl out to dinner. Your telling me that most women out there are not as inconsiderate as her. Well, I'm not buying it!!!!!! 
Oh, and THIS post that I've just quoted is supposed to be respectful??!! If being respected is one of your preferences, perhaps you might also want to show a modicum of respect as well. If a guy is very nice / respectful of me only - and then disrespectful to other people, that essentially becomes a double negative (or, in other words, someone of whom I would not be interested in dating).
By the above quote, you have essentially called the women in this folder a bunch of liars. THAT is definitely not at all respectful; not on any level at all.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Johnny_
Anyways, changing the subject. Do you think it is possible for a guy and a girl to be just friends? My answer is no. I think sooner or later, one of you will develope feelings for another.
If your answer is no, then why, in your OP, do you refer to the woman as your friend?
Incidentally, I personally do not answer my phone at all when I'm out with anyone; regardless of whether it's a man or a woman and regardless of whether it's a romantic date or a platonic get-together. I also realize that some people will answer their phones from certain people - and will have valid reasons for doing so (family emergencies, etc.).
And yes, I do consider what you have described in the OP (of the woman's actions) to be rude (and to be vastly different of the qualifier I gave in the above paragraph).
And, I agree with what some of the posters have said regarding having a conversation with her about this . . . a calm, rational conversation in which you explain to her how it made you feel for her to be on her phone during the date (a conversation devoid of hostility and ultimatums). Basically, both of you have a choice in this. She can choose to discontinue the conversations when she's with you . . . or she can choose to not change anything. Your choice in all of this revolves around whether you want to accept her behavior or not.
And yes, I do think that some men and some women can just be friends and no more. Not all men; not all women. Some. But, in order for that to work, both the man and the woman of any friendship are both going to have to believe that.
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RE: Get with the program - 11/11/2008 12:54:30 AM
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Johnny_
Posts: 395
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: California
Status: offline
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<------waiving a white flag
I'm gonna share a joke, you don't have to laugh. If its not funny, then its not funny. But I personally think it is. Why am I telling this joke? I really have no idea, just thought I'd share it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the possum it could actually be done!
< Message edited by Johnny_ -- 11/11/2008 6:35:46 AM >
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RE: Get with the program - 11/11/2008 11:49:44 PM
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Johnny_
Posts: 395
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: California
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I have a question:
Do you think it is OK for a Christian man to date a non-Christian woman? Here is my answer. I personally would not recommend it but I don't think it is unbiblical to date a non-Christian woman. Just to clarify, I am asking about dating and not marriage. What do you think?
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RE: Get with the program - 11/11/2008 11:56:39 PM
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RamiRedeemed
Posts: 2628
Joined: 10/13/2008
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Something about being unequally yolked comes to mind. Why would you date her if you have no intention of marrying her?
_____________________________
Some people talk because they have something to say.
Others talk because they have to say something.
-------------------------------
ramireconciled.blogspot.com
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