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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/1/2008 4:38:15 PM
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chrystar
Posts: 54
Joined: 12/10/2005
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I have been married for 8 years.I meet my wife at church and we first meet at a church social where we set next to each other, we were both in the singles department but had never really talked to each other. She seemed like a nice girl and after a few hours of talking with her, I just asked her out, I asked her if we could get to get togther that weekend ; I just said" I would like to take you out", she said yes. I am/was usually scared to death to ask women out, but with her it seemed so easy that it wasn't until I left church that night that I realized what I had done and I about had a panic attack! LOL!
The rest.... well like I said married 8 years....hasn't been easy, and sometime I have felt like giving up, but she has been worth it!!!
Just remember, as I heard a speaker one time say when it come to men and dating, "they are more scared of you then you are of them!".  , the point being that men can be so nervous as to make asking you out a complete and utter mess, but it dosent mean that they may not be worth a second look....
hope that helps!
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zug-zug
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/1/2008 4:54:02 PM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 1055
Joined: 10/5/2008
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I need to communicate with someone on a lot of different levels before I ask anyone on a date. Since it takes me longer to decipher this than most woman like they usually ask first if they are interested. ( No, not a totally clueless male, I just take my time seeking Godly wisdom). When I do ask someone out I am direct and to the point and just come out and let them know that I find them intriguing and would like to get to know them better and ask if they'd like to go for coffee, hiking, ect.
Sister Soprano you appear to be very young so my advice to you would be to just be prepared for cheesy lines from young men who don't have much " game " yet. Add nervousness to the fear of rejection we all have and just give the guy credit for having the nerve to approach you, even if he isn't as fluid of speech as you'd like.
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Knowledge humbles great men, astonishes the common man, and puffs up the little man
Chubby babies rock!
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/1/2008 11:33:13 PM
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Child4Jesus
Posts: 470
Joined: 5/24/2005
From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
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I guess it depends of if the girl is approachable. Some girls put the wall of attitude right away. That is a big turn off. Girls who answer to the yo baby stuff I look out for. That kind of girl I don't need. If I talk to her for a few hours at an event or out somewhere and I feel we are clicking I will ask for her number. If she gives it to me, I figure there is some interest. I will call and ask her out later.
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In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/2/2008 1:40:40 AM
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OneJohn410
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It's always been in person, and has also not been the first thing I say to her. I have not asked for a phone number to call her later and ask her out. That's always been face to face.
It's never been done badly, yet there's been times when oh! the shock, and oh! the astonishment- she states she's already dating someone else. As I remember, that's always followed with something like I'm sorry you didn't know. Thanks for asking anyway.
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For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/2/2008 1:35:13 AM
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solo_soprano22
Posts: 2429
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
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Yes, but what do (you all) say when first trying to meet the woman?
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For God, For Learning, Forever.
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/2/2008 12:54:02 PM
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Child4Jesus
Posts: 470
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From: Long Island, Nassau, Elmont, NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
Yes, but what do (you all) say when first trying to meet the woman?
I think anything in the vain of Hi, Hello, etc., would cover what I say first. If she is open to conversation I ask her some things about herself.
_____________________________
In Christ,
Richad
The greatest heresy to American Christianity is that if you ask Jesus to come into your heart, he definitely will.
Paul Washer
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/2/2008 8:59:43 PM
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makarizo
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if it is a woman I know, I pay attention, study, listen, and try to speak her language.
I have found that laughter is the very best tool, & if I can get her to laugh or smile, she will want that date!!
but not all women are the same.
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/6/2008 10:00:42 AM
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ekserekseez
Posts: 693
Joined: 7/3/2008
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I believe in the direct approach. I usually walk up to a woman and just tell her that I find her attractive (or interesting, or fascinating, or amusing, or whatever), and would she like to go to dinner some time?
I have also occasionally used incredibly cheesy lines to great success.
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/6/2008 1:42:25 PM
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ekserekseez
Posts: 693
Joined: 7/3/2008
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quote:
Did it hurt? [did what hurt] Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
I used this when I was 19 or 20 and it actually worked, poor girl.
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/7/2008 12:07:25 PM
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tomhillbilly
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i want to expand on chrystars comment about his meeting. the whole searching for a date in itself seems kind of weird to me somehow. people meet from being together at the same time and place at some sort of social/work type event. after an initial meeting if someone has been enjoyable,tell them so and also that it would be fantastic to spend more time with them in the future. tom
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/7/2008 5:56:07 PM
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jn1010lf
Posts: 351
Joined: 4/20/2005
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Hwllo solo_soprano22
I would prefer to have some relationship with a woman before asking them out. Perhaps it's being too cautious but it's always hard to start with a slight friendship.
Let me say, if that's your picture under your name, I would say that you would be well able to sort out the good, the bad, and the corney approaches.
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/12/2008 6:13:26 PM
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lightbeamrider
Posts: 138
Joined: 6/6/2008
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Generally i don't. I could not imagine asking a female out i do not know but have seen other men do just that. In today's culture it is generally expected a man be the initiator in these things while the women sit back and do whatever it is they do. Having done this in the past have always found this approach personally embarassing and have since ceased from this activity. Normally these things happen after a getting to know process in a neutral setting. Church or work where time is spent with the person and a certain ease develops. Or the chemistry is right which seldom happens with single females. Having switched jobs (a promotion) i was asked out on a function by two females to attend a get together after work for an employee who was leaving and declined as i did not know the people and am somewhat of a social imbecile. It had little to do with the females and more to do with the fact my new boss would be there and all the other folks who have worked together for years and i was the new person. Since that time both females do not talk to me at work and am not quite sure how to resolve the situation. Hopefully, in time it will resolve itself. One actually spoke to me last might. I suppose she could not avoid it since she was walking towards me and i towards her. I can recall two situations where i asked females out in the past 5 Years (?)..The first was with a co-worker i liked and the second was with a college prof who has never been married. I worked for the prof as she has much property and needs a man around to fix things and calls me. I said ...''when are u going to lower ur standards and let me take u out to dinner?'' She laughed it off and i said ''don't say i did not ask!'' That was fine. I did not expect her to take my modest proposal seriously. She has called this week and i will help her this weekend do some work. Do not think it would be a good match but i do enjoy spending time with her. It would seem many professional women sacrifice marriage and motherhood for their careers. She is extremely smart and has ambition to burn. The co-worker was a great gal and we seemed to hit it off but she was having difficulties with the man in her life and after they broke off i asked her out but think she was still hurting over the loss. We went out and i called her twice, after that, but she did not return my calls so i gave up. She either returned to him or found somebody else or ...whatever. There has to be some initial chemistry or a female has to show some interest before i will even consider asking her out. Indifference means just that and take it at face value. I no longer feel the need to perform, or to try and impress females with my wit to win her over. Life is too short and i never was good at it anyway. The whole concept of asking a female out for dinner and a movie ''for the pleasure of her company'' has been always been somewhat bizarre to me anyway and i seldom get those urges anymore. I remember taking a lady to the movie...Natural Born Killers by telling her it was a love story...she accepted but failed to see the humor in it all. Technically it was a love story...between two psychopaths! Some men apparently find pleasure in chasing after women who are ''hard to get'' but i never did. No means no, it does not mean negotiate and i do not ask twice. I have to ask, all she has to do is show up! When she declines it is the same thing as telling me she has no time for me or if she does have spare time she does not want to spend it with me and her reasons make little difference. I move on, or go home and read a good book.
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/20/2008 3:49:35 PM
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BER243357
Posts: 11
Joined: 11/20/2008
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First, I'll mention the part you probably don't want to hear. If you're being approached by sleazy guys who use inappropriate methods to get your attention, you may want to take a step back and look at the quality of people you're hanging out with or you may want to look in the mirror and make sure that what you are projecting doesn't scream, "Hey, I want to be hit on by sleazy guys." We tend to receive what we project.
Beyond that, a guy who is worth your time will likely try to manipulate the situation at hand in order to gain some interaction with you. That does not mean one-on-one time....yet. That part comes later. Someone who is interested in who you are and not just what you look like, will take the time to get to know you first. If he likes what he sees, he would likely ask you out with some friends....sort of a "double-date" type situation. From there, you'll know and he'll know whether or not the two of you should pursue the relationship.
I would be extremely suspicious of anyone who just simply walks up and asks for your phone number, offers you a drink, or wants a date without knowing anything about you. All he could know of you at that point is what he sees with his eyes and that's not what relationships are supposed to be built on.
Jeff, USMC
Married 6 years
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"Someday" is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.
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RE: How do you approach women/ask them out? - 11/28/2008 11:08:43 AM
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willfs
Posts: 349
Joined: 12/28/2007
Status: online
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I try to be sincere so no canned lines unless it is obvious I am making fun of the actual pick up line (which is just an idea but something I have never done). If I don't have anything else to say "Hello, my name is _____. What is your name?" is what I use. But I think that something sincere and honest works best. If I am asking them out then a simple "Can I call you sometime?" or "Would you like to do somethign with me this Saturday night like go out to eat?"
Once in the grocery store I was standing in line. I noticed a woman who had just come out of one aisle and was turning down the next aisle. As she faced me, the sunlight streaming in through the front windows hit her face. She had a smile on her face. I bought my groceries. Took them home. And returned to the store. I walked up to her, introduced myself and told her I just couldn't get her smile out of my head and I had to meet her, which was true. I later called her but she wasn't a christian so things didn't progress from there.
Okay, I have to ask you what you think. I saw a girl who really knocked my socks off eating at Olive Garden. I know she was around some Christian woman but I don't know if she is a christian but I would like to know. If I ever see her again, sometime soon hopefully, I was going to go up to her and say something like, "I don't know if you remember me but I sat near you at Olive Garden the other night. When I happend to see you again I wanted to meet you. My name is_______...."
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