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Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/29/2008 3:54:23 AM
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FaithLegacy
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Is it wrong or sinful to be an egg donor?
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/29/2008 8:13:14 AM
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DaveW
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In general - I would say no.
BUT - if it violates your conscience, or you have had an impression that God told you NO, then it would be sinful because it is not done in faith.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/29/2008 9:50:55 AM
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ta_mosquito
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Moving from General Faith to Morality & Ethics.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/29/2008 9:57:27 AM
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ta_mosquito
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I was asked once to be an egg donor for a certain couple. I thought and prayed about it, sought counsel, etc.
I still have the letter I wrote to the lady with my decision. Maybe it'll give you some considerations to think about:
First off, I want you to know that I'm really honored that you asked me to be an egg donor. I realize that asking was not easy for you. I've been really torn over the decision, and I wish there were another way I could help you.
I'm not sure whether or not you want to know the reasons for my decision. If you'd rather not, I understand. I won't bring it up or ask you about it, so if you want to just delete this email now, feel free.
When you asked me about it, my initial reaction was yes. But the longer I've thought about it, the more reluctant I am. Here are the major reasons:
1. I'm not sure how this will sound, but while I wouldn't be too squeamish about the injections (I think!), I would be squeamish about messing with my hormones so much. While I am a VERY poor example of a person who eats organically, I try to live as much as possible without relying on medicine or chemicals. I've never even been on the Pill, let alone mess with my hormones the way I would need to in order to donate. Along these same lines, I'd be pretty uncomfortable with the exams and actual harvesting of the eggs. I think you know that I'm a virgin; while I haven't found anything that discourages virgins from donating, at this point in my life it really bothers me to have pelvic exams and anyone messing around "down there."
2. While you have confidence in my desire not to have children, I honestly don't know how I'd react to knowing that there's a child "out there" that was part me. I do think, though, that it would be an issue for me. I'm not so anti-children that I wouldn't feel at least partly responsible for how that child was raised. (I know you and your husband would be great parents to the child, but that wouldn't be enough peace of mind for me.)
3. As I mentioned to you that day, I am pro-life. I hope I'm not as rigidly pro-life as some others are - I wouldn't sacrifice the mother to save the baby or anything - but I do believe that life begins at conception, and life is precious. Even if they only took 3 of my eggs and put them in you, if more than one of those embryos implanted, they would do a selective reduction, which in my eyes is wrong. It would be ending the life of one or two babies. I wouldn't want to be a part of that.
The Lord knows I don't want to preach at you, and heaven knows I have no idea what you and your husband have been through concerning all this, so feel free to disregard what I'm going to say next.
In a perfect world, you and your husband would be able to have as many children as you want. In a perfect world, every child conceived would be wanted and loved. But this isn't a perfect world. There are scared teenagers out there who have made a big mistake, and now feel that the only way they can correct that mistake is to kill the baby. Many of these girls are from great homes; there’s nothing wrong with the baby, except it came at the wrong time. Have you and your husband considered adoption? I hear it costs about the same as having an egg donor. While the child wouldn’t genetically be either of yours, it would be a lifesaver to the child. I won’t say more about it, except if you’re interested, I know of a crisis pregnancy center in [a nearby town] that would be able to give you more information and maybe even help with the arrangements. It’s called [ABC].
I hope that suggesting that doesn’t hurt you; I do it out of love. My prayers and best wishes are with you and your husband as you go through this time.
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Tricia
"There's a fine line between being open-minded and empty-headed." ~Michael Coren
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/29/2008 10:19:00 AM
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relady
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Wow, Tricia, that is an awesome letter. You obviously put a lot of thought into your decision and I can certainly respect that. Becoming an egg donor is a HUGE decision as is going through all the prep for InVitro, and probably costs about the same thing. I think adoption is probably less expensive. I just wanted to let you know that although I consider myself prochoice, I am so impressed by your choice and the reasons for it. Thank you for sharing.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/29/2008 12:54:18 PM
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Ps103
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Tricia is right about the hormones. They really do a number on your body.
I know someone who did donate eggs a long time ago, before she had any children of her own (20-some years ago). She is *still* dealing with the effects of the hormones on her body, and they are not good effects.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/29/2008 2:22:26 PM
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Bluethread
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This leads to other issues like IVF that often results in "selective reduction", willful distruction of furtilized eggs. We have several examples in the Scriptures where people have attempted to "help out" Adonai by using alternative means to have children. I can't think of one of them that did not come with serious social complications that lasted for generation.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/29/2008 5:02:08 PM
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zoebob
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I agree with the idea of having a child out there that was part mine and not knowing anything about him/her. I also don't like the idea that one or more might be selectively reduced.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/29/2008 5:40:26 PM
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solo_soprano22
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Bluethread
This leads to other issues like IVF that often results in "selective reduction", willful distruction of furtilized eggs. We have several examples in the Scriptures where people have attempted to "help out" Adonai by using alternative means to have children. I can't think of one of them that did not come with serious social complications that lasted for generation.
I think that depends on what God tells a couple. If doing IVF is being disobedient, then it's wrong. I can't say that God doesn't direct some to IVF as a tool that He uses.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/29/2008 7:39:44 PM
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mvic
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Thank you TA_Mosquito for sharing your letter. I'm sure it'll help many people reading this thread.
Thank you again.
God bless.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/30/2008 1:00:02 PM
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FaithLegacy
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Wow, all my concerns were addressed. Thank you everyone. I realized that I didn’t think as far into it as I should have. As a Christian I need to learn to consider consequences good and bad. It seems like an honorable thing to do. It also doesn’t seem sinful but not everything that is permissible is beneficial. I am also a virgin and I would definitely be uncomfortable with the procedures. And knowing that some of my eggs would be discarded really blows my mind. I didn’t know the process. Most of all, knowing that a part of me has the potential of not being raised as a child of God is scary. Thanks for helping me to understand the gravity of this situation. I‘m still somewhat young and sometimes I’ve realized I fly without knowing where to land. At least that’s the way my mom says it! Ha ha and thank you because I didn’t really have anyone I felt comfortable to ask without fear of drama. God Bless
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/30/2008 5:18:54 PM
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MissInnocent
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I can't say if it's right or wrong perse. But there's no way I'd do it. Be an egg donor or use an egg donor (or sperm donor for that matter). For me unless a child came from my egg, (future) husband's sperm and my body it would not be MY child. God bless those that can do donor egg/sperm, surrogate mother to carry or adopt but I don't believe it's for me.
One small correction on something you said Tricia, they don't do selective reduction unless the woman agrees to it. They SUGGEST it but they can't do it if she says no. Look at Bobbie McGaughy. They wanted to take 4 of the septuplets, she said ABSOLUTELY NOT. Less seven babies were born. And I believe their 11th bday is coming up. 
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/30/2008 5:25:12 PM
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solo_soprano22
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Ah, I meant to say that. No one can make you abort. I heard of one woman pregnant with seven and went against the doctors who told her to abort to have a chance of any live babies. Unfortunately, they all died, but she chose to try to carry all seven. Also, they can take only one egg and try to get that one to take after fertilization...or put in one at a time, etc. (The first might be hard to get someone to do though.)
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/30/2008 6:09:07 PM
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MissInnocent
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I thought they always took at least 4 eggs and tried to implant at least 2. Have they changed recently?
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 10/31/2008 10:58:40 PM
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solo_soprano22
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I'm not sure what the American standards are; I know overseas one-embryo transferral is becoming preferred in many areas.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 11/1/2008 5:06:57 PM
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MissInnocent
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That makes sense as I know it's easier for one baby than multiples. I just don't know (which with my heart issues I doubt I could take the hormones for IVF anyways so I hope if God sends me a hubby we can have babies au natural) if I could deal with knowing I had babies in a freezer while I had one cooking in the oven.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 11/3/2008 12:44:49 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22
I'm not sure what the American standards are; I know overseas one-embryo transferral is becoming preferred in many areas.
I'm not sure we have a standard, I know women who have had every where from 1-5 embryos implanted at a time depending on their progress and development(cell division).
I would not choose it, for all of the same reasons that Tricia stated but I do not think it's morally wrong.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 11/27/2008 12:01:56 AM
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cheeky_monkey
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I personally believe it's wrong. Babies are supposed to be created between a husband and wife. If an egg is donated, that baby is not a product of the husband and wife but rather two unmarried people.
I do believe embryo adoption is okay.
Lucy
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 11/28/2008 12:35:31 PM
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kingdele
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I don't think it is a sin. Actually, I think it is selfless and Godly. On donating sperms though, it might be sinful because of what one has to do for them to come out.
On making decesion on other issues I think we can understand what is sin by looking at Galatians 5:13-24.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 11/28/2008 1:02:52 PM
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kingdele
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cheeky_monkey
I personally believe it's wrong. Babies are supposed to be created between a husband and wife. If an egg is donated, that baby is not a product of the husband and wife but rather two unmarried people.
I do believe embryo adoption is okay.
Lucy
I have to respectfully disagree with you.
Sex, outside of the marriage bed (and that means a man and a woman) is the only form of baby making that the Bible calls sinful. Those who live such a life-style will not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:13-24, Corinthians 6:9-10). Not, I repeat, not donating eggs.
Well, people used to think that interracial marriage was a sin too and they used to use some fuzzy logic. Though the bible states that there is neither Jew nor Greek (gentile) in Christ and that a woman is free to marry whoever she wants, so long as he is in Christ Jesus. I do admit the societal and cultural issues might put strains on such a marriage.
Also, some might also call adoption sin, though people did it in the bible and that is what the bible said that God did to those whom He saved, through Christ Jesus.
Some may also call a husband and wife not being able to cocieve and using invetro fertilization sin. Though God is the one who gave the wisdom to be able to do that.
If the bible doesn't call something sin, we shouldn't call it sin.
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RE: Is it wrong to be an egg donor? - 11/29/2008 1:34:56 AM
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cheeky_monkey
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It doesn't seem right to me. It can cause confusion for the child, and if one of the reasons we have marriage is to create children then it would seem to me that God wants those children created within that particular marriage unless those children are already created, of course.
I don't know. When I see children who don't know who their biological father is or parents are if the case is adoption, it seems wrong to me to intentionally put a child in that position (bio mother in this case obviously).
I don't see how anyone could consider adoption a sin. There's nothing wrong with taking care of someone who has no one else. That's what we should be doing anyway. :)
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But I would have a conscience problem if I helped bring a child into the world to be raised by a couple who didn't share my faith.
(Divorce/disagreement of couple, death of the husband, etc.)
