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Won't sleep alone anymore... - 11/21/2008 2:43:42 PM
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VisitorinWaiting
Posts: 656
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My 2.5 year old dd had surgery last month. She had to have a full arm cast on. The nights we spent in the hospital, we slept together. We came home, and for the entire four weeks she had the cast on, she didn't sleep through the night. Let me add...of all my three kids, she was the first to sleep through the night, and the best to stay in her bed at night, all night...no problems with bedtime for her...up until this. The cast has been off for a little over a week now...and she has really no pain that she expresses to us. She was really good about expressing her pain after surgery and while the cast was on. At night, we put her in her bed, just like we did when she had the cast on, and she will fall asleep...just like she did when the cast was on...but within hours, she is crying...and wanting to sleep with me and daddy. Sometimes I put her back to bed and calm her, only to wake up again in a couple more hours, if that long, to do the process again. Sometimes, when we have had an especially hard day, we just let her get in the bed with us. At nap time, she used to sleep for 2 hours consistently. Now, she will wake up after 30 minutes, crying. I will calm her, she will sleep for another few minutes in her bed or either come to me in the living room, lie down beside me on the couch and sleep there. It seems that she has become really attached to sleeping with me...no matter what time of the day. I know that she has had a traumatic experience, and I understand having problems sleeping afterward. BUT this can't keep on forever... What can I do for her, for us? Do I start all over? It's been a LONG time since I've worked with a child who didn't want to sleep in his/her bed. My next youngest is 4, and he's been sleeping in his own bed for a good while...
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Hebrews 11:13,16 "...They said they were like visitors and strangers on earth...they were waiting for a better country, a heavenly country." (NCV)
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RE: Won't sleep alone anymore... - 11/21/2008 4:06:29 PM
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deedeeowens
Posts: 89
Joined: 6/10/2008
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Follow your maternal instincts and be patient with her. Don't worry, she won't be doing this forever. This too shall pass and you'll forget how troublesome it was. She just needs a little time to feel secure and safe again.
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RE: Won't sleep alone anymore... - 11/21/2008 5:03:18 PM
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pbaribeault
Posts: 1097
Joined: 4/29/2005
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Fistly, I'd do a quick assessment about pain: have you tried giving her some pain medicine before bed, just to see if she will sleep longer? If the pain medicine helps, then it is clearly a pain issue -- maybe a sharp twinge that wakes her but goes away before her waking mind notices. If it makes no difference, you've done no harm by trying.
If that's not it, perhaps some more patience is in order as others say... exactly how traumatic was the arm-breaking incident?
But, eventually, you are going to have to stop rewarding undesirable behaviour. If night fussing gets her some good cuddles and to be settled-down by a parent (at least) and sometimes even being able to sleep nearby to you... well, that's a strong reward... especially if it always works. I assume you know about how to train younger kids to sleep alone, by incentives (a treat in the morning) a dis-incentive (removal of something in the morning) and/or a firm, uncompassionate response in the night with no more giving-in.
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RE: Won't sleep alone anymore... - 11/30/2008 1:12:47 AM
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locomom
Posts: 190
Joined: 4/15/2005
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What she may be experiencing is the discomfort and awkwardness that can come after the surgical dressing or cast. Your arm is also one of those body parts that you use a lot. So she still may be in a low to moderate level of achy pain where she can't find a truly comfortable position that lasts. She may also have some muscle spasms or just be wearing her weak muscles out. My doctor gave me more pain medicine, just one that was not that strong. It was still a narcotic. Also her arm is weak and feels different probably. What I am describing is what I've gone through after hand surgery (actually 3 surgeries - different hands and/or different issues). Call the surgeon and discuss it with him.
She has also gotten used to you being there all night. It is entirely up to your judgment as to when and how that will stop. Right now she's probably having some separation anxiety that you can deal with gently. I'd expect she's feeling some amount of stress still.
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