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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 8/11/2007 5:21:51 PM
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agapetos
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I treated myself to some apple juice the other day ~ it was on offer and is the 'cloudy' kind (the only kind I'll drink) and I couldn't resist. I went to open it yesterday and found it had started to ferment. Took it back today and got a replacement.
I watered my garden and pulled a couple of beetroot up. They're still small but they seem to be growing well  My tomato plants were drooping a little, but I think they'll pick up. I've got flowers (finally) on one of them. Was speaking with the lady I got them from and she said that she had few flowers on hers and they may not produce anything as the weather has been so bad. It would be nice if they did, I'll be disappointed if I don't get any.
I think I've killed of my 2-tier plant stand  I will keep it next year (as I've already got the liners) and see what happens then. The liners I've bought are better than what I used this year I think.
I took a (I think) great pic of Munchie the other day. I have to get it onto the 'puter, but I think I'll maybes change my avatar when I do. The current one, I love, but change isn't always bad
It's been 100 days since Madeline McCann went missing and it's been an emotional week for her parents with so many different angles coming out in the press. Today it was announced that the police think she may have died. One of the things that happened this week was the launch, via YouTube of a missing childrens channel. It was launched a few days ago and there are 27 video clips on it ~ but the clips may have more than one child on each (including one where 3 children from one family have gone missing). Something that the McCanns said recently was that they'd not be aware of just how many cases of child abduction there were.
http://www.youtube.com/dontyouforgetaboutme
We may never know what happened to Madeleine McCann, I'm not sure what good laying blame at anyone other than the perpertrators door does in a situation like this. Her parents, while doing something foolish, cannot possibly feel any more guilt than they do. They are working though to do something to not only get their daughter back, but to help others in the same situation. Perhaps this heightened awareness is the good of the situation.
There's a meteor (Perseid) shower this w/end ~ the best time is tomorrow night, I'm debating whether to see if I can stay awake for it. There's a park across the road from me so I won't have far to travel to get into the dark and will have a good view of the night sky. I may possibly be able to see something from my bedroom window which looks North, but it's not as dark due to a couple of badly placed street lights  I guess it all depends on the weather. I would like to dig out my astronomy chart though to find out where I'm meant to be looking Mars may well also be visible ~ last time I saw Mars (memory says it was Mars, but I could be wrong ) was when I was at a Christian w/end and we saw it and someone suggested that it was a plane (the pilots had stopped for a cuppa, which is why it wasn't moving ) It'd be great to see the shower and Mars again. I'm wondering if I'd be able to get any photos.
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 8/18/2007 2:50:21 PM
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agapetos
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My father phoned yesterday am to ask if they could visit today. The arrived late and we rushed to find lunch somewhere before they finished serving. Lunch was really good though. It's soo wonderful to go into a pub to eat and not have it full of cigarette smoke!
My (half)brother is off to Chicago next month to start a 4-year degree so I don't know when I'll next see him. My father and step-mother told me that my sister's girls (16 and 19 year olds) had reported a shoplifter in a supermarket (Tesco's for anyone in the UK!) but we never got to finish the conversation.
Didn't really do much other than go out for a meal. It was raining on and off and no one seemed very inclined to do anything so we came back to mine and they left soon after. Normally we go somewhere ~ there's lots of places to visit in the area.
When they left I phoned my mother and was speaking with her and asked if she'd heard anything about this ~ she hadn't. I think phoned my sister who filled me in. Apparently a man and a woman had gone into the supermarket, picked up a suitcase (removing the tags etc) and started to fill it with groceries! My oldest niece pointed out if she could see them, everyone in the store could. She then, while queuing told the cashier who went off to find a security guard. By this time the couple had left the store (the man went first) and were seen by my niece outside, in their car.
The store gave my sister (who didn't get a chance to report anything!) a bunch of flowers. I told her that it was a bit off and she felt the same, saying that they'd have prefered a box of chocolates (and yes, I told the duty manager this).
Given that Tesco's in a major supermarket here, I couldn't help but feel that this wasn't good enough. With my sister's permission, I phoned the store and asked if this really was all they gave to people who did something good like this. They're calling me back to see if there's anything else they can do for the girls ~ that'll be early next week.
I called my sister back and filled her in. She thinks that I've got a bit of a cheek to do this, but I don't. I've taken food back to supermarkets that has been sold after it's dates up and been given far more back than the product is worth. The girls deserve something too... My sister is going to keep it from the girls so if they do get anything it will be a nice surprise
And yes, I'm very biased!
I'm kinda tired today and my mood is a bit funny I think that's the tiredness though. I didn't sleep particularly well last night and was awake early this morning. Hopefully I'll sleep well tonight though, I've not slept during the day today.
I'm back seeing the psychologist on Thursday, a bit earlier than usual, but the following Monday is a Bank Holiday and she's not working then After that, we'll be into September I can't believe this year has gone so fast!
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 8/27/2007 7:24:54 PM
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agapetos
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Well, I got my arch Haven't put it together yet ~ need to move some compost and then put some ground cover sheeting down to help suppress the weeks. I'll plant the fuchsia though that (cut holes into it). They had 5 fuchsia in the catalogue and online they had 6 ~ which were cheaper than the 5. The 6 also had free fertiliser. I'm giving one to the lady who's kitty died and another to the lady who lives at the other end of the row because she's always really sweet to everyone. She also bakes stuff and gives me some of her goodies sometimes
(I did a search for 'climbing fuchsia' and found my thread ~ how funny )
I planted all my pansies and hung the ones I'd put into the flower pouches after planting the remaining ones in the top. I put the new ones into my tiered basket thing using coir liners this time instead of the stuff I used last time. It was so much easier I also put more in 2 buckets that I'd used for radishes (but the slugs and I ate those between us ) And I put some crocus in another plant pot and something else in another one (but I forget what it is, except it's pretty but won't flower until June
I bought a new product today. It's supposed to clean loads of different things ~ I bought it to see if it worked on my combi oven. I tried it on the door and it was really easy Then I tried it on one of the sides. It wasn't quite as easy but it started to clean off! Haven't done the whole thing yet, but I will as soon as I get a chance.
My neighbour who's kitty died gave me some kitty stuff that she hadn't used. It was really kind of her I thought.
I've been writing a letter to someone who hurt me recently. Many people see it as a good thng to do. Not necessarily to give to the person, just to write out feelings and thoughts and such. I'd written it and was pretty undecided about giving it to the person. On the one hand, I felt it would help me, on the other, I didn't want it to appear as though I was bitter and such. After talking with my psychologist about something else sad that happened I've realised it will benefit me to pass the letter on to the person ~ not as revenge or to make the other person feel bad but jsut so they are aware. I know that if I bump into the person (and I nearly have a couple of times) I'll have a hard time. If they know this, and know why, I think it'll be easier for me.
But then I may change my mind Shall speak to my psychologist about it before I finally decide.
I've been writing some other letters too. These I know I won't send. The people who they are too are either so out of my life I don't know how to contact them or are friends who will only be very hurt because of my feelings. And I believe that just writing them out in a letter of this sort (my psychologist mentioned burning them) will help me a lot.
I'm not saying that I'm the innocent party in all of this. I'm sure that I've hurt some of the same people as much, if not more, than they've hurt me. I just feel this is a useful step to take in the forgiveness process (I don't believe that forgiveness is always an instant thing, sometimes it needs to be done gradually).
I've been getting some help from someone on how to organise my housekeeping and such. I'm very haphazzard about it all so while some things are really good, others are really bad. The method suggested to me was so simple and I'd kinda been starting to work along those lines anyway. It was the next step that was important ~ to just pick out a few things that really were priority items to do. And if I got all those done (as was still conscious) to do a few more.
Suddenly it all didn't seem as daunting as it had. I did some picking up and some throwing out and while it didn't make much of a difference there is a feeling of satisfaction that I've done something today (other than go into the next town).
The moon was looking pretty tonight. I took some photos but they were kinda blurred so I'll have to redo them but find something to lean on to keep my hands steady.
< Message edited by agapetos -- 8/27/2007 7:47:01 PM >
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 8/29/2007 10:07:13 AM
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agapetos
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I saw my doctor yesterday. Had a long talk with her about various things. She's pretty cool is my doctor . Actually, everyone who is involved in my health care are cool. (That '.' is for Benny cos I know he likes 'em!) We talked about how many sessions I'd had seeing my psychologist ~ I didn't know (I checked later and it's 8 so far) but said she'd offered me up to 20. The doc told she didn't think that I'd get 20 sessions and be kicked out! I agreed but pointed out that I would like to think I didn't need 20 sessions. I suspect my doctor resisted the temptation to roll her eyes I need to have another blood test next week to check my lithium levels (or recheck them as they were so low the other week) and then a few weeks later I need my thyroid levels checked I normally combine them (ie one blood test) but it's not possible for these 
I've been reading some posts around forums and it's got me thinking. I wonder how many of us have a problem with food. I know that many have a problem with alcohol or smoking or drugs, but I always feel that food is a problem on it's own. People don't need alcohol, tobacco, drugs to survive (though it may feel like they do at times). We have to eat though. There is no way around it. That (to me) makes it harder to control. Would you, for instance, tell an alcoholic they can have one drink a day, but no more? In my books, it would be stupidity.
I told my doctor a while back that I felt I had a problem with food, but I couldn't call it comfort eating. Speaking on and off with my psychologist (about other things, but not really about food) I wondered if I used food as a method of punishing and hurting myself. I know the foods that I like and that are healthy. I can't resist grapes for instance. If I eat bread (or too much) it makes me ill. shellfish ~ well, lets not go there But I like bread and I adore shellfish. Most of the time, I don't buy them but sometimes I do. Even knowing the consequences, I eat them, so they don't give me any comfort, infact they have a detrimental effect on my mood. So why do I eat them? I know this is something that I'll have to talk with my psychologist about more but I'm left with the thought that it's a form of punishing myself or hurting myself.
I've also bought and eaten foods that I don't much like. I think that's more a case of habits rather than anything else. I buy them because my mind can't figure out what I need to buy or should buy.
It's a mammoth task to go into a supermarket (with or without a list) and buy what's needed and avoid buying what isn't. It's hard to try and work out why I don't always feel able to buy the foods that don't harm me and instead by the foods that do me good and I love.
So I wonder, how many of us are using food in a negative way ~ even though it doesn't always show.
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 8/31/2007 5:24:09 AM
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agapetos
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Is it just me, or does it make your blood boil that other Christians can say what is or isn't right or true? Worded badly, but I'll explain.
If someone doesn't believe the same as us, even though they worship the same God, can we say they are or aren't a Christian?
If someone has a mental health problem, even though they proclaim that they are Christians, can we say they are sinning or not trusting in God entirely if they take their medication?
Surely it is only God who knows our true hearts. We can debate and consider from now until eternity whether someone or some other faith is or isn't 'right', isn't Christian, that the people aren't saved.
I'm not talking of the kind of cult religions ~ like mormonisn, but what the world classes as Christian. What church do you attend? Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, Anglican, Independant etc. There is a long list. Can we say that any of them are free of man's interpretation of Scripture? I've attened Baptist churches where, even in recent times (and now stopped), unless you were a member, you had to leave the Sanctury during Communion! I've been on church holiday's to places run by Spirit-filled Catholics. Which is the more Christian of them?
Well, in reality, only God knows. But what about your church? What rules and regulations does it have that simply don't fit with Christ's teaching? How does God feel about it? Do you recall what they used to say about people looking for the 'perfect church'? That there was no such thing, and even if there was, you couldn't join because you weren't perfect!
Is it a sin to take medications for an illness? I take them for bipolar and hypothyroidism and asthma. There are also some other meds that I take from time to time. Is it a sin to take any or all of them. Is it a sin for someone who has cancer to have treatment for it? Or the diabetic? Surely if we are told to trust God for the healing of one condition, we should trust Him for the healing of all conditions and chuck our medications out of the window!
Does my medication help? It helps me to concentrate better. I stopped taking my meds for about a month a little while ago. Looking back, I can tell how that affected me, especially as I reintroduced them. I'm thinking in particular of my inhaler and my bipolar meds. I didn't have a serious asthma attack but I could feel the effect that not taking my medications (as a preventative measure) had on me. In a short space of time, I began to feel better after resuming them. As for the bipolar meds. The levels of one med were low when I had them tested a couple of weeks ago. It's possible they've improved some ~ I have to have another blood test next week to check ~ but even having just a low level in my system has helped my concentration levels. As for my thyroid functions, that has a less noticeable effect. It takes 6 weeks or so for the meds to kick in.
But none of the meds stop me from feeling. They help me think (both bipolar and hypothyroidism can cause mental confusion) and they help me to work with my doctors and my psychologist to get healthy.
It was a stupid, and yes, sinful, thing to stop taking my meds. Yes, there was a reason for it, some would probably say excuse. Interestingly, I've been beating myself up more about it than my doctors.
But is our health, cancer, bipolar, diabeties, a sin? Are we so out of touch with God that we 'commit' these sins? Are we so untrusting in God that we rely on modern treatments to 'cure' us.
God has cured me from more than man ever has. Man has helped me think far more clearly so that I can concentrate on God instead of drowning. And is it such a sin to get help from people to understand yourself better?
I sometimes wonder if I'd be alive without medications. So is taking them such a sin? I'd rather not take them, but if they keep me alive, if they keep me sane and safe, I'll take them.
Only God knows the secrets of my heart. Only He can judge me on this. So why do we judge each other?
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 9/1/2007 7:57:24 PM
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agapetos
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Gosh, isn't it hard when you want to talk about something but you end up rambling and wondering if the post is full of self-pity?
quote:
Friendship is the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring all right out just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful friendly hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping and, with a breath of comfort, blow the rest away.
http://www.xenodochy.org/ex/quotes/friendship.html
I cut the post I'd been rambling on in. Instead I looked up the definition of 'friendship' ~ which is what I'd been rambling about! That's a loooonnnnng sentence with lots of commas. I'm sure there's a thread about stuff like that
But isn't it a wonderful definition of friendship? I sometimes wonder what sort of friend that I am. I frequently can't understand why someone would want to be friends with me (I know me, they don't!). But when you find the sort of friendship that the quote describes, isn't it something?
A friend and I both apologised to each other for not being the 'best of friends' earlier today. But you know, reading that definition and remembering something that I told her a little while ago about my therapy, I realise that she is that kind of friend. I don't think she realised the weight she lifted off my shoulders when I poured my feelings out and she sorted them and reassured me they were ok.
I don't think friendship will ever come easy to me. But I'd like to think that I can gently build new and rebuild old friendships over time.
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 9/2/2007 7:15:48 PM
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agapetos
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Have you ever wondered about time travel? Yeah weird I know...
Watched this film yesterday (it was a Yank one so my thoughts obviously can't be that weird ). A war ship in 1980 (or thereabouts) got caught up in this really weird storm and were transported back to the same place, but 6 December, 1941. There they were, not far from the as yet, unattacked Pearl Harbor, they could stop this attack, save all those people, change the course of history. They were, after all equiped with far superior planes and weapons after all. Or should they not interfer in the course of history, allow the attack to take place.
They were planning to attack, but that weird kind of storm came back and transported them all back to the present time (except for 1 guy who ended up stranded with a very pretty lady on a desert island and lots of 1980 provisions).
I wonder what would have happened on the larger scale if Pearl Harbor hadn't been attacked the way it was. Would the US still have gone to war, would they have delayed? Would the Japanese navy and airforce be defeated in one quick blow from the future? Would it have meant the shortening of the war? Would more or less people be killed? Would it have been better or worse?
I wonder if I'd change anything in my life if I were able to go back in time. There have truely been some horrible times, but don't they make you appreciate the good even more? Would I have more or less good times if I got rid of all the bad ~ or would it simply feel as though there were no good times? Would I be happier, healthier, a better person than I am now? Would I even want to change anything?
I guess it's kind of pointless thinking about it on that scale. But on another it's not. Doesn't God change our history to a degree. We still have it, but the sins, the hurt the pain are gone because of His great love for us. They may not be gon immediately, but little by little, as we allow, He will take more from us and give us a peace that is greater than the end of any war.
I think God has it sussed
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 9/6/2007 6:49:57 PM
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agapetos
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I've been a bit down this week ~ since seeing my psychologist, because of seeing her (not because of her though!).
Tonight, as I thought about what we'd spoken about I was reminded of something that happened just over 9 years ago.
It was at a time in my life when there seemed to be a lot of uncertainty for me. I'd told (yes, told!) God that there were things He seemed to want me to do, and I didn't want to do them ~ but I knew it was right, so expected Him to give me the strength to get through. It was an amazing release for me. I still didn't want to do them, but I knew that God would get me through.
Some weeks later and I was flying (literally, not emotionally ) and I glanced out of the window to see clouds. I also saw the shadow of the plane, much smaller than it's real size on one of the clouds. Surrounding the shadow was a rainbow.
God made a promise to His people and as a sign of that promise, He placed a rainbow in the sky. He promised that He would never destroy (by floodwater) the people of the earth.
For me, my rainbow, was a sign that He would never allow me to be destroyed by events that go on in my life. I may get a little damp, but never destroyed
I'm not sure that I've explained that terribly well. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm comforted by the memory of my rainbow and what I feel was, and is, God's promise to me.
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 9/12/2007 8:29:35 PM
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agapetos
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I keep coming here to my blog to make a post and then get side-tracked and don't make it Now I've forgotten anything intelligent that I was going to say.
I've posted a couple of times about having rough weeks and I have to tell you something strange I've noticed...
Within a few days of posting that I've had a bad week or time I've started to feel better and I can't get away from the feeling that people are praying especially for me at that time. I know that there are certain people that pray for me all the time (because they tell me) but sometimes... there just seems to be that extra little bit..
Know what I mean
So if my feeling better is due to you praying a bit more for me, just know the prayers are getting through and being answered
~o~o~o~
Went to housegroup last night. This term we're doing a short study (8 weeks) on hope. We looked at Psalm 27 yesterday. I love Psalms, and love to read them from a KJV (though not sure why ). Isn't it amazing the assurance that David had in God? That no matter what bad should happen, God would protect him, no matter who abandoned him (even his parents), God would not.
I know certain things about my God, and I know that in the past He's protected me from danger (mental, physical, emotional) but sometimes my faith seems so little when I read something like this. I wonder if I'll ever get to being assured that whatever I go through God will be there, will not abandon me without asking 'Lord, are you still there?'
~o~o~o~o~
My tomatoes are still growing. I seem to be getting more appear every day. I've cut the tops of the plant off (I forget the technical term now) so they don't grow any higher, just put all their energy into growing the tomatoes that are there. I'm trying to work out what I can do with a bunch of green tomatoes if they don't ripen
And I have beans on my bean plant . They're so tiny, but seem to be growing pretty quickly. I'm sure that they'll grow enough for me to eat some before the plant dies off.
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 9/18/2007 7:19:22 PM
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agapetos
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I was woken this morning by Munchie making little chirriping noises in my bedroom. Bless her little heart, she was bringing me breakfast Yup, a lil mousie Brat!
I've come to the conclusion that life is sometimes a juggling act. We have all these different balls and it's necessary to keep them in the air at the same time otherwise things just kind of fall apart.
There's sleeping properly, eating properly, taking care of yourself and your home/family/pets, ensuring bills are paid on time, work, social activities etc etc...
And then there's our Christian walk. I have to confess that I'm not sure if that is another 'ball' (or several) or not. I'm not really sure if our walk can be classed as a ball really.
But you get my drift?
My sleep is way way out at the moment. I was speaking with my psychologist about it yesterday and expressing my frustration at not being able to control it and that I felt I needed to. She suggested that by getting frustrated I was simply banging my head against a brick wall and wondered whether it would help if I just slept when I needed to without setting alarms (which I generally do) or anything. Hmmm... so I'm about 30 hours into trying this. And it's so hard to not set an alarm clock or worry about being awake during the day or sleeping at night.
I went to boarding school and we had set bedtimes, depending on age. We nearly always still talked after 'lights out' for a while (generally quiet enough to avoid being detected by the house mistresses ) and looking back there was often a sense of we were being slightly naughty in what we were doing ~ I'll confess that those 'naughty' feelings were highlighted at when we indulged in midnight feasts ! We knew that what we were doing wasn't really bad and we'd be ok as long as the talking didn't go on for too long. There was just a hint of being naughty ~ you know?
Yesterday, after seeing the psychologist and being totally exhausted I went to bed early afternoon. Then (as I expected) I didn't feel sleepy tired when it was night. I picked some videos and took them to bed with me and watched them until I did feel tired enough to sleep ~ which was the early hours of this morning. As I've said, Munchie woke me, and I got up to feed her and then went back to bed (very tired still) and slept some more. I felt conscious enough to go to house group this evening and be able to concentrate on things. Not sure how things will progress over the next week or so, but I shall give it a go.
So that is the ball that I'm trying to keep in the air at the moment. I'm not seeing this as a license to sleep round the clock all the time, but simply a way to get back into a good sleep pattern for now ~ and for the future. Then I can perhaps move onto getting another ball into the air. Some of the other 'balls' aren't so difficult to deal with and can be dealt with around the main ones ~ Munchie is pretty easy to take care of for the most part for instance.
I've said that I'm not sure that our Christian walk should be classed as a ball in the same sense as the other balls that I mentioned and so I'm leaving it out of the equation. It is there though and, as always, needs working on.
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 9/20/2007 10:55:30 PM
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agapetos
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Imagine someone juggling all the balls in their life ~ work, family, friends etc...
Now imagine that person on a unicycle...
Yep one of these things
Can you understand if I say that our Christian walk is that unicycle? If we keep that balanced and level, the things we have to juggle in our life will be much easier to control. And how do we keep that balanced? By looking forward to the goal, as Paul says in Philippians.
We may sometimes drop the balls, but the good thing about balls is they bounce! And if they bounce, we can catch them again ~ they don't just fall and break like a plate would.
But we have to keep looking to our goal ~ because once we take our eyes off that and look down, to where we dropped the ball, we lose control of the unicycle....
Sounds so easy doesn't it, to keep simply keep looking forwards? Focusing. I'm not too good at that sometimes, even when I wear my glasses I seem to get distracted or lose concentration very easily. I've known people to ask me questions and I've forgotten the start of the question by the time they get to the end (their fault for asking such a long question ). It's something that I have to work on though ~ another ball.
I've been told that I'm kinda like those balls, I'm resiliant, I tend to bounce back from things. I do wonder sometimes if I am or not. Sure my mood goes down and then it goes back up again, whether it's to do with bipolar or circumstances, it still happens. Sometimes it seems though that I feel a little more brittle than the last time it happened.
I think I drop a ball and look down to see where it's gone, start to lose my balance on that unicycle and wobble and lose more balls, and end up falling flat on my face. Then, trying to gather the balls and juggle them and then getting back on the unicycle, I end up in a pickle Maybe I should concentrate more on getting back on the unicycle first huh?
Now, it's a whole different ball game when my mood goes up... while I don't fall of the unicycle, I'm not really balanced, while I don't drop the balls, they do bounce and go out of that controlled oval that jugglers get them to go in ~ it's kind of wild and wacky
Hmmm... not sure if that is a reflection of bipolar or spiritual struggle, perhaps it's a combination of both, perhaps it doesn't matter...
~o~o~o~
Not sure how this sleep thing is going. I'm sleeping lots (I feel) and for longer times. I woke up late this morning and was awake for a few hours, feeling really rested. Did some shopping and stuff and then felt just so exhausted. I considered forcing myself to stay awake (on the grounds I'd sleep tonight) but decided that I need to give the experiment a bit longer ~ so vetoed the alarm clock too. I slept for a few hours and now am awake in the wee small hours.
I am feeling better though and doing things when I'm awake, instead of simply fighting tiredness. And while I'm eating at incredibly odd times, I'm eating better. That has to count for something!
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I could give up chocolate ~ but I'm no quitter!
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RE: Dancing to a different drummer - 10/1/2007 1:13:17 AM
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agapetos
Posts: 5563
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: This side of the lil duck pond!
Status: online
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Ok, sleep...
Slept for about 8 hours on Thursday night and then for about 7 hours on Friday night. I was incredibly tired on Saturday afternoon so slept a couple of hours then. Saturday night I slept for 1 hour and then for about 4 during the day. I slept for about 3 last night. It's around 5.30am and I've been awake since 2am
Having said that, I'm seeing my psychologist today and that sometimes affects my sleep. I've also written a couple of letters to people that I'll be sending them and that's caused me some anxiety so there are probably reasons why I'm sleeping badly at the moment.
My parcel finally arrived on Saturday afternoon (when I was asleep) ~ my neighbour took it in for me. It had a recycled plastic footpath that came in secitions. I am going to put it under my compost heap and water butt (both will need to be moved) after putting | | |
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The contacted the couriers and got back to me. Apparently the parcel got to a depot in a town about 40 miles away and then they sent it back to the main depot about 100 miles away 
and some of the pansies look a bit crushed, but I think they're fairly resiliant plants and may well come back. 
! She found this rather funny 
and asked if she could be there 