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RE: Spousal Abuse: Should Wives Be Punished? - 7/11/2010 8:54:49 PM
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Hislittleone
Posts: 739
Joined: 7/13/2007
From: The South
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quote:
ORIGINAL: macokjc
quote:
If your husband hit you back with the same force as you then you are equally as wrong. But a man has to control his hit in order for the force to be minimized to that of a woman's hit.
But why? His intent to harm is no different than the woman's intent to harm. I just don't buy it. Also, what if the woman uses a frying pan or some other weapon? Is that when you draw the line?
Because your husband would know that he's stronger than you but went ahead and hit you back with equal force his itent to harm was greater.
If weapons are involved that takes it to a different level and that wasn't what I was talking about. But if a woman whops her husband upside the head with a cast iron skillet and causes him grave injury then she should be held responsible for that.
_____________________________
Galations 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
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RE: Spousal Abuse: Should Wives Be Punished? - 7/11/2010 9:01:12 PM
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hnt
Posts: 747
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Personally? I think people need to keep their hands to themselves, and YES that does include women!
Returning evil with evil? I believe that is sin as well, and no one should be returning blows. To me that is returning evil with evil.
_____________________________
h
Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: Spousal Abuse: Should Wives Be Punished? - 7/12/2010 6:58:00 AM
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DaveW
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From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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Wow. 2 1/2 pages since I was here. I am not sure whether to be impressed or not.
There is a biblical principle that was brought up that certain people are held more responsible by God than others. That includes those in authority, those who are older and supposedly more mature, etc.
When Sarah laughed at the idea of bearing a child in her 90s God did not immediatly hold her responsible but Abraham (who probably was not aware of her laughter). Hebrews 13 says that congregational leadership is held accountable for the actions of their congregants. If you carry that thru to the family, as Paul says the husband is the "head of the wife," that would make him more accountable. The older child would also be more accountable than the younger.
Please understand that being more accountable does NOT mean that the other person is not accountable. They are fully accountable for their actions. It is just that those who are expected to have more maturity or authority or size or strength have an additional layer of accountability due to their position.
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Avatar is my son Caleb and Leah on their wedding 12/20/09
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RE: Spousal Abuse: Should Wives Be Punished? - 7/17/2010 10:24:15 PM
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Aim2Plze
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Joined: 7/17/2010
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No one should emotionally or physically abuse their spouse and I am speaking from experience. For the past 1 1/2 years my wife started out being emotionally abuse and it escalated to physical abusive. Within one month or marriage, I needed emergency brain surgery. After being in the hospital for four days and within a hour of being home she becomes very cold and says, "This is not what i signed up for - I am not a caregiver." I went upstairs to our bedroom and began thinking about what she said. I came downstairs and asked her, "Would you rather I not be here" and she said "Yes." She then said, "Pack you things I am taking you back to your house." During the 1/2 drive, she did not say a word, dropped me off at my house and left. The next morning, I called her and she said, "I told you that I did not want to talk with you" and hung up the phone. I called the next morning and she told me the same thing. I emailed her and she said, "I am blocking your emails - don't contact me again." The next morning (Wednesday), she called and said, "I'm sorry - I love you and hung up." I did not hear from her again until Sunday when she came to my house and asked for forgiveness - which I accepted.
Fast forward to November 2009, she was ranting (which happened a lot between when we first married and November 2009) and after 3 hours, I told her that I was leaving. Grabbed her keys (to move her car) and my keys. As I was coming downstairs she had a 12" butcher knife in her hand. I took her to the ground and told her to let go of the knife. She then started biting both of my wrists and I told her to let go and I'd give her the keys to her car. She agreed - let go of the knife and I went upstairs to get my shoes on. All of a sudden, I heard my truck alarm go off and went outside to see her puncturing three tires flat on my truck. She then went upstairs and locked the door. I was in total shock. I prayed about what to do and I heard the Lord say call the police, it's the only way she will get help (she had ignored my suggestions to seek help previously). After calling the first time, I hung up when the dispatcher answered. They called back, but I did not answer. I kept praying and this time I called and the police came out. She was arrested and taken to jail. The next day she got out and I left. The charges were dismissed by the DA due to a "lack of evidence" even though the CSI took photos of the bite marks and three flat tires on my truck!
A week later, she came to my house and asked for forgiveness - which I accepted. However, within a few weeks she again became abusive by throwing my cell phone in the toilet because I had my cell on mute while in church while she was attending a non-church event. Basically, she said if you won't answer my calls than you don't need a phone. The following night, she threw me out of her house (This was like the 5th time during our short marriage).
To make a long story short - statistics show that far more women assault their husbands than men, but fewer by far are reported or are held accountable when reported.
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RE: Spousal Abuse: Should Wives Be Punished? - 7/17/2010 11:46:57 PM
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Aim2Plze
Posts: 23
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The whole point to what I am saying is that abuse is wrong regardless of gender and it is not just men who abuse women. I am in no way saying women are not abused, but to show that just as you may be a victim of abuse, so may your father or son and wouldn't you want the person held accountable?
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RE: Spousal Abuse: Should Wives Be Punished? - 7/18/2010 12:07:33 PM
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hnt
Posts: 747
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Sounds like those articles are saying pretty much what others have been saying for years.
quote:
Child abuse was the single biggest determining factor for men and women becoming perpetrators or victims of either dating violence or stalking, Gover said. Even if one never personally experienced abuse, witnessing violence between one’s parents as a child increased the likelihood of stalking or being stalked as a young adult and it made girls more susceptible to becoming victims of dating violence when they grew up, she said.
If children grew up in a home where abuse is present, chances are greater that they will be victims or perpetrators when they become adults.
They are talking about the cycle of violence that continues for generations. Its a pattern of ongoing abuse.
Society in general are pretty ignorant of the dynamics of such relationships, and it shows that we truly don't know how to deal with them properly at any stage of the game.
YES perps and victims should be getting help, and also be held accountable. Its hardly a gender deal, although I see alot of attitudes making it out that way. If someone calls another out on abusive behavior (pattern here) you see people jumping on the 'man haters' or 'woman haters' bandwagon. Its sad when society is to busy fighting about who is being mistreated more, who is getting away with it more, etc instead of just dealing with it.
We as a society are pretty much in another cycle of denial, projection, or blame shifting. History has shown us that we have never dealt with it properly, but had different excuses or attitudes towards the issue.
Meanwhile, we don't truly help anyone.
Its sad really.  I don't think we have found the proper avenue to help victims or perps yet. I do think consequences and help need to be there, but I don't think we have found the proper balance to help halt the cycle yet.
_____________________________
h
Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: Spousal Abuse: Should Wives Be Punished? - 7/18/2010 12:28:30 PM
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theprincessbuttercup
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From: Boo Radley's back yard
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Aim, I am so so sorry about what you have been through. And I don't care how much you weigh....you should never have to endure that abuse, and if threatened, you should use whatever is necessary to defend yourself. If I pulled a knife on my DH, I hope that he would also do whatever he had to to defend himself. And then I hope he would call the police. And then I would deserve the maximum sentence.
End. Of. Story.
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Jude 24, 25
(My avatar is my daughter's artwork!)
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RE: Spousal Abuse: Should Wives Be Punished? - 7/19/2010 9:36:19 AM
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DaveW
Posts: 4035
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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quote:
If children grew up in a home where abuse is present, chances are greater that they will be victims or perpetrators when they become adults.
They are talking about the cycle of violence that continues for generations. Its a pattern of ongoing abuse. There is a biblical word for that: Iniquity.
If DW ever came at me with a knife, I would not take her down. Deflect thrusts - yes, but to take her down makes you the agressor in the eyes of the law.
_____________________________
Avatar is my son Caleb and Leah on their wedding 12/20/09
=======================
Winner of 2010 "best in "He Says"
=======================
Our CD is available here:
http://cdbaby.com/cd/dswaggoner
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RE: Spousal Abuse: Should Wives Be Punished? - 8/6/2010 10:26:11 PM
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Aim2Plze
Posts: 23
Joined: 7/17/2010
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DaveW - I can assure you that with my 25 years in the law enforcement and victim services business, your answer by far is the most ridiculous that I have ever read - have you ever heard of self defense?!?!?
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RE: Spousal Abuse: Should Wives Be Punished? - 8/7/2010 2:24:33 PM
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EsonTheSearcher
Posts: 620
Joined: 4/25/2009
From: Homer, GA
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Aim2Plze
DaveW - I can assure you that with my 25 years in the law enforcement and victim services business, your answer by far is the most ridiculous that I have ever read - have you ever heard of self defense?!?!?
Sorry...look at my OP and you will see that he is quite right. I have put this quesion to a Captain that I used to hang around with before he was in the police force and he told me:
"Never fight with a woman...no matter what she does. You will not be able to argue self-defense no matter what she is doing. The law just isn't going to see it."
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